When it comes to your life, you really have to be intentional. It’s so easy to get lost in the routines we have in life – those moments when you realize that months have gone by. Being someone that suffered with depression and anxiety, the basic day to day task of living felt overwhelming, draining, and incapacitating. I am in a place now where I am able to find/have the balance that daily life needs so that I am able to fully live/experience the day. I focus all of my energy on being intentional – and I feel the need to be clear and say that this is not something that I picked up on overnight… Especially when you’re someone that goes through the extreme cycles of highs/lows with consistent self-neglect.
The toxic habits that I had picked up/developed over the years had really hurt my healing process. I would start working towards something only to then self-sabotage and tear myself apart. Discipline is learned, balance is learned, inner peace is learned (or found really); you are not “too far gone” to turn your own life around. I became obsessed with the thought of how much power and control that I have within my own life – I get to choose how I show up in the world every single day… that’s freaking amazing!
I think that in the beginning I was just overwhelmed with where to start, and then the anxiety and fear that manifested from the thought of my personal “failure cycle” … let’s just say that I was trying to count myself out before the journey had even begun. I knew that I had to start somewhere and even though previous attempts had ended the same way, I felt a different sense of motivation and focus than I had felt before: I couldn’t do it anymore. There was too much overthinking involved so I had to simplify my approach; I knew that ultimately, I wanted to get my mental health into a more positive space, and I needed to start living a more fulfilling and peaceful existence. Being open to learning new things is key – “knowledge is power”.
Mental health, depression and anxiety, ruled my life with an iron fist. How can you confront yourself with all of the negative, traumatic, and toxic things that you’ve experienced in your life? You give yourself kindness, patience, understanding, and know that it won’t be an easy process, but it will be worth it. Be open to learning and experience new things, be open to admitting that you can be wrong, and be okay with making mistakes.